relationships | jp74's Blog

okay i didnt mention that this platonic relationship im in started out fresh, then i kinda clsed the chapter on it btwn him and i..which left him a door of explration where in fact he did explore and found a new passion over this past summer.Now in continuation, things went rocky for them leaving him back at my door as a confidant.im honored and all yet it can feel like a doormat at times.we're strictly platonic (even though i felt more than that at times)still the level never changed.His recent passion has quickly put out the fire, he's immensely not over it.Believe me i should know, i'm the one stuck with the 20 calls a day with hours over hours of convos over his breakup.I can't blame him for being a stubborn optimist as i was once that way.I've tried suggesting he get a new girlfriend ;) though he is ever so slowly burning my candlestick at both ends with his undecisiveness and awry determinations, ughhh sometimes i laugh at my own thoughts when i think about his shock if i were to really tell him what i thought lol

when we first met i caught the twinkle in his eye and did nothing about it because of the huge age difference.time went on then our paths crossed again.btw 4give me fo my shorthand n improper grammatics im just whizzing thru.anyway the 2nd time we came across ea.other,he asked for the my digits.i took the request casually and gave out the digits thinking no harm can be done.after all the green lights flashng during this stage i kept my walls up maintaning a genuine FRIENDSHIP nthng more due to the age gap.then the stage fzzed out a bit n now its taken a new stage where im saught after but not as the girl in mind but rather as the "dear abby" next door so to speak. :p well here's the question,is it pssible for a young man to be interested in one girl in one way and then interested in another female in a whole other way? i dnt plan on losing his friendship tho the curiosity keeps me on my toes.ive never met a man that can juggle an intimate relation w/1 girl and a close personal relation w/another girl at the same time....

well today's just a darling day..the day starts off with a new twist but same smell lol.so yah idk how much more patience i can endure with this yet stubbornly i choose o play along.not that its a game but i got nothing else down this road so what the heck why not kep at it..hehehe..well not only am i suddenly a welcoming ear n shoulder to lend,apprently now im literally the voice behind the msgs he sends off to her!!WHY??!! ughhh the stupidity i get myself into!! i dont mind really as dumb n nerve racking as it can seem.anyway theyre happy,im happy i guess thats what really matters huh..?lol okaaay yet the good thing about watching from the side is seeing what could be me had it have been me in this intimate relation.. o.O i oughta get dividends doing this kinda service lol

ok idk whats with me.at times im so connected to life then w/out warning im in a whole other zone.that's when my annoying walls go back up..maybe i dont like routines maybe i like doing things different every now n then..the phone calls came flooding in again n i just dismissed em all..tried seeking other avenues of meaningful convos via chatlines which never fail to b nuthin but jibborish rubbish, yeah...ish, lol..great i guess this is gana drive me rite bck to square one.."dear abby" sighhhhhs...

well just as it didnt seem like it could get more complicated or twisted, dun-dun-duhhhhhnnnn...!...the unthinkable happened in this lame saga..it went from being the third party voice type wheel to the communication w/the other girl to now being in a somewhat of a tryst type convo..ughh it was him holding her on one line n me held on another line while im supposed to be coaching him while getting emotions off his chest with her..smh omgosh whats next i have to hold his hand to do other things with her i suppose? i would love to find one person in this world who'd do that **** for me lmfao..this is cray-cray lololol

its that time of day that surfaces time to time,that idgaf day lol..yeah we had our lil chat along the commute this mornin n this time i put my guards up..this dear abby whaa whaa blah blah scenario has gotten a bit stale for me this particular day, i mean seriously wth is he thinking expecting me to coach him on a reg.for his friggin bf/gf drama shizz?? here goes the berlin/china walls again lol..for today its all about me muhself n mua...cheerios ;p

c'mon,how urgent can a relationship be that a person has to be flagged down thru the grapevine at ur workplace of all places!!? omgeee

so i was again tryna keep it down low again n now that things have been slowin down the feeling is semi good n semi junk..good cuz i dnt have to hear the constant whinings of relationship woes but junk cuz im back at one,alone and just craving that someone that will hold a decent conversation..been tryin several chatlines but thats a joke next to impossible lol

man i had a drag of a wknd..its like my walls were caving in..i wasnt even tryna reach out it gotten that bad..thnk goodness the days go on renewing itself..well awkward sitch lastnite,at the very last minute i finally picked up on his line after avoiding the first dozen attempts..it was again an eps of me being reduced to relationship nanny/coach/idiot..so being way too soft hearted n unable to being blunt i tell a lil fib n say my cells bcked up on memory in order to prevent sending off stupid *** txt msgs for him to send to her..it worked, he didnt get upset and i was spared the awful task lol..well i just told him in a friendly manner to go on ahead n conjour up an original txt of his own for her and so that went well i guess except, we were left at an awkward 5-10 min.of silence while he went about busily tryna put tgthr a txt msg for her..um yeaaahhh...wierd..anyway, it got to the point where i was miserably miserable w/it that i put him on hold while i hooked myself up to the friendly neighbor chatline and i guess he didnt like being on hold so he hung up, ugh!! lol..this morning we met up and look, i dont know whut his trip is..he talks bout her then says things to me which gives me mixed msgs..i wish he would just quit juggling her n i around..idk maybe i oughta just keep playin along..perhaps a good thing may come to the one that waits patiently.. o.O

ok much better day tday..not much craziness goin on just yet..will be back soon

aahhh feels good to b back on track livin da free n single life w/out the whining n dramas..yesssss..a fun nite out w/mah girliez wud just make it even more outta sight..hehehe..yah no more bf/gf dramaz so far frm mr.besty..he was home yesterday so i had a great day to myself yup mmhmmm..

good grief-talk about flirtaciousness...ughh! tryna keep lowkey n where does this behavior errupt from?! he talks all day n nite about how she's this n that n is so preoccupied with her yet once i quietly try to get out of the way(i suck at confrontations)here he comes all wantin to get wayyy into my personal space all touchy feely eww..i mean nice but wth! looks like sum1 wants to have their cake n eat it too...all i can do is stay idle and take it in humbly..he's tryna play fire with fuel lol yet i still aint doin nuthin cuz the coast aint clear rite now.. o.O

yeah im whooped..just about had it with u kno who hmmmm...went bck to the chatlines to see wussup n wow Cleveland (in Augustus)got me hooked lol..he talk so naaaasty bout err1 up in thea lol! he prolly just playin but shux he sho makes me LMFAO LOL..

ths past wknd was nice and lowkey..only one missed call so not very hectic..but today on monday we met up again..he inquired about the missed call n ii was like ohh yeahhhh but in my mind im like,"AND!?" anyway we left it at that and we merrily went onour way but then tonite he rung in again..i picked up and first damn thing he had to say was," wat should i say to her.." ummmm i was like dude, idk..he was like huh? (im thinkin a mile a minute like ****, u deaf? IDK wat part of idk did he not register...!!)he kept on ramblin bout she wont take his calls,she barely talks to him wen theyre togthr on n on n on..im like you know wat?i got another call lemme call u back..of course i didnt but then in 5 min he blowin up my phone again..ughhhh i had it wit this bs farrealzzz

he got me fckd up yeah he did....i swear this farrealz while i was watchin youtube his incall interrupted my vid display n wen i let the vmail pick up, the vid froze on these words: REPENT! omgeeee!! if that aint a sign, idk wut is...

yah so yesterday i got the cold shoulder cuz i didnt wanna participate in the 3 wheel circus so yah wutevuhz..i could care less but today somebody was in a good mood..yeah he was super mr gabby n ontop o'dat he gave me some yummy halloween goodies(chocolates)..which in turn made me feel bummed out for getting cocky w/him that day..he thinks of me this i know..he never misses a special occasion to treat or gift me on special holidays but yeah..what can i do....

good day today..only awkward moment was this mornin wen he whipped out a hallmark card to make me read..omg it was the perfect card that described every bit of how i felt for him n then i asked him, who is this for(getting all excited inside)and then he tells me its for her(the girl he talks about constantly)aaaaand that he wants me to help him fill out the card!! #%^{^+=*>£¥ ummmmmm hayyyyell to da nooooooo..you can bet i shut my phone off to ALLLL his calls all day today FML

yeah i just wasnt feelin it tday..he's gettn da vibez dat im shuttin down n didnt say a word tday..he kept callin all day tday even though..but it ****** me off to think that all he wants to talk about is her so yah u can best blieve i kept that line shut tday..went to the chatlines n aint got nuthin but peeps dat wanna argue..wanna razz u down or perve on ya..so being that im not one to argue i sat back n listened to wat this sexual freak had to say..(yawwwwnn) same ole shizz..got a 40 in the fridge so guess ima have a party lol

yeah so i was gettn xtremely bored n lonely last nite..i decided to wait for sat.nite to crack open my 40.. then there rang my cell again so i picked up..sure enuff it was the same crap again about him n her then her n him..idk if this chic playin a lethal game of mind control n hard to get or if she really str8^ dont like him..wuteva it is she got his behind wrapped around her pinky tight! so he telln me bout how cruel she treats him n how she drives him nuts wen she barely talks2him..im thinkin dayumm i cud tak some lessons frm this chic..anyway he goes on to ask me wat e shud tell her so i lie n say my txt msging aint workin n we left it at that..FML seriously.well today he was bck at it again flagging me down but i aint picked up..uggghh i need a girls nite out!!

sat.nite we talked again till midnite..pretty good convo..long convo..then he brought her up again but this time he told me he wanted me to go with him to go see her!! :O i was like,aint no way ima do dat!..but i played it cool n just told him to call her first in the morning to see if she's ok having him over..finally a lil past midnite we ended the chat.Sunday he forwarded a txt to me which she sent him saying she was busy and couldnt have him over..WHEW!! i like this girl,she sho kno how2put him in his place lol..aside frm this i couldnt stand my wknd..i felt extremely heavily weighed down..something's not right w/nature..i can feel it..anyhow this Monday mornin he called me to tell me he wud be stayin home today so my mornin commute was quiet n lonesome..more to bring tmrrw..stay safe out there yall